fearless

after a meeting today i introduced myself to two co-workers. one of them remembered my solo tenacious d acapella karaoke stint from the holiday party and suddenly the other remembered me too.

he told me i was fearless.

fearless is not a word that i would ever use to describe myself. i am pretty much a scaredy cat. i think too much. weigh my options. in the past i would not engage in something that i wouldn’t be awesome at, but that didn’t fly with bryce. in the past few years i have worked hard to step outside of my comfort zone and tried to care less about what people think of me.  whether that be trying new foods, going on a 60 mile bike ride or getting over my fear of singing in front of others, i have been working on it.

the day of the company holiday party was my 12th day of work. the party was at the company’s new office after hours. bryce was out of town, so i was attending alone. i enjoyed appetizers with new co-workers and had about a half a glass of wine, because for some reason wine decides on random days to give me indigestion. after a while there was a raffle for some prizes and i won a sweet nerf basketball hoop.surely this would be the highlight of my night, i mean besides the amazing goat cheese cups.

after that hoopla wound down our president got up and said that he had just come up with this great idea. he told a story about how when he was a child he wanted to be a singer and that he and a friend of his made VHS recordings of their vocal stylings. he also mentioned how thankful he was that youtube did not exist at that point. then he issued the challenge….accapella karaoke for 30 seconds, best performance was to be chosen by the audience and would be awarded dinner for two anywhere in northwest arkansas.

this was not something i cared to be a part of. the thought of it made me nervous.

so after no volunteers, one brave soul strode to the front with lyrics pulled up on his iphone and rocked a sweet 70s ballad (which i cannot currently recall). from there our technical director busted out a flawless ice, ice baby.

then no one. the president asks for a lady. no one. he asks again. and then i got called out by our corporate recruiter….

“butler will do it”….that is me, in case you didn’t know

this is not something i was planning on taking part in at all. but i had a chance to make myself known and even more importantly i owed it to myself to rise to the challenge.

if you have ever been out with me to sing karaoke  you know that for that first song i shake like a leaf. no matter how much tequila i have consumed, i am still scared to death. every time is the most petrifying time. it doesn’t get any easier. until two years ago i wouldn’t even entertain the idea of singing karaoke with a group while severely intoxicated. but i had been challenged.

so on my 12th day of work, with sweaty arm pits and quivering limbs, i stood in front of my coworkers and busted out 30 seconds of tenacious d’s tribute, my karaoke go-to.

and today, almost a month later, a near stranger paid me one of the nicest compliments because of it. i don’t think i have ever been called fearless in my life. it feel awesome.